


You're Extraordinary

by HaylesAtwellington



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, peggy after steve goes down, peggy and dugan as POWs, sad things, steve is found waaaaaay earlier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 10:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5203229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaylesAtwellington/pseuds/HaylesAtwellington





	You're Extraordinary

It all started after he was gone.

Steam rose off the cup of tea she held as she stared distantly out her apartment window, curled in on herself, hugging her knees–desperate to be in his arms and drowning in the absolute muck up she’d made of everything–his memory. 

She could hear Dugan rustling around in her tiny kitchen and sighed, setting her tea aside untouched.

“Lunch is on the table. Eat.”

She didn’t look up as he came over and kissed her forehead.

“You know where to reach me.”

Her eyes welled up and she lowered her gaze.

“Thank you.”

It was little more than a whisper, but it was acknowledgment enough for him.

He left quietly and she lowered her legs to the floor slowly, wincing as her bruised and stiff body protested.

She glanced over at the food Dugan had prepared and considered just tossing it in the bin like she had done with nearly every other one and crawling back in her bed for the remainder of the day. She’d had enough of it. Everything. Food. Sleep. Guilt. Breathing. Life. 

Peggy rose unsteadily to her feet and made her way to her bedroom, ignoring the food completely and resolutely refusing to acknowledge the pain in her limbs.

She knew Dugan would poke his head in again before nightfall to see if she’d eaten and make sure she was still breathing. 

She pulled the duvet over her shoulders and allowed a few stray tears to fall, drowning in thoughts of two lives she’d lost; two she’d failed to save. 

—

Whispers echoed around the SSR headquarters. 

“He’s back–found him just off Iceland. The ship too–”

“–thought he was dead! Wait’ll the wife hears about this! She’ll never believe me.”

Steve tried to pretend he couldn’t hear them. The serum had apparently enhanced his hearing along with the rest of him.

“Sir, if I may–”

Chief Dooley stopped his long-winded welcome back speech and looked up.

"It’s just that–I’ve gotta speak to Colonel Phillips right away.” he explained, trying not to sound rude or impolite, “I need some information from him. Howard Stark is the man you need to identify all the equipment in that ship. I’ve done all I can here. When I’m finished with my original mission, I’ll report back to you.”

Dooley looked surprised, but didn’t make a move to stop him.

“Thank you, sir.” Steve said quickly, ducking out before the man could protest.

The elevator took him four more floors up where he found an empty hallway with labeled office doors lining either side. He checked each name carefully until he found what he’d been looking for. 

“Come in.”

Steve smirked and pushed open the door.

“ _Mary mother of God_ –”

“It’s good to see you, sir.”

Phillips stood and shook his hand. “Welcome back to the land of the living, Captain. What can I do for you? Wait–Don’t tell me. I know.”

Steve frowned as Phillips sat back heavily and sighed. “First, she’s alive.”

The floor dropped out from under his feet.

Phillips opened a drawer next to him and pulled out a dossier. “After you took down that ship things got really hot and heavy on the front. Carter and Dugan got caught in the middle of it and ended up POWs for six or so months. We got ‘em out a few weeks ago. Dugan is pulling himself back together and started taking the odd job for me here and there, but Carter–” he sighed heavily and shook his head, “She’s not right. Something happened in the prisons but I can’t get her to say a single word, let alone open up. Dugan is the only one she’ll speak for. He knows something. He’d never say a word if she asked him not to. I’ll get him up here.”

Steve nodded slowly, brain too busy short-circuiting to speak. His Peggy-

“Well, son of a–”

The Colonel cleared his throat at Dugan as he came through the door.

“Geez, Cap, you could'a called.”

Steve forced a smile and accepted his embrace.

“Good to see you, Dum Dum. Peggy–” he choked on his words and Dugan sobered immediately.

“Drinks on me?” he asked, reaching for the door.

Steve nodded and followed him out.

“I made her a promise a long time ago, Cap,” he apologized, “She’s got to know. Let me call over.”

He opened the door to an unused office and picked up the receiver.

Steve stood quietly in the doorway listening apprehensively.

“It’s just me. I’m sorry to call–It’s important. Steve’s alive–Peg? You there? Jesus, you scared me–Yes, I’m sure–Standing not ten feet away from me, dopey as ever–He’s worried about you.”

There was a long pause and Steve shifted nervously.

“You still there?–Don’t be dumb, of course he–” Dugan sighed heavily, “Alright.”

The receiver clicked loudly and Dugan ran a weary hand over his face.

“Drinks first, then we’ll talk.” 

\--

The bar was nearly empty at this time of day, which suited them nicely. They settled in the furthest corner with their drinks and fell silent.

Finally, Dugan downed his whisky in one gulp and sniffed.

“After you took that plane down–God, I’d never seen her in such a mess. She wouldn’t speak unless she had to, she immersed herself in her work during the day and cried herself to sleep at night. No one ever heard or dare comment, but her eyes said everything. We knew.”

Guilt constricted Steve’s chest.

“A couple weeks after–” he paused and cleared his throat, “She’d been sick, see–I mean really sick–for days. Phillips asked me to take her into the local doctor a few miles off sight. I guess he thought if she tried to object I could just hoist her over my shoulder and take her against her will. I thought he was crazy. Carter wouldn’t be taken anywhere if she didn’t want to. When I went to get her, she barely had the energy to stand, let alone fight me. Sally said she hadn’t eaten much in days–couldn’t keep it down–and she wasn’t sleeping well either.”

“Did she go willingly?” Steve asked quietly, eyes fixed on his glass.

Dugan sighed. “Yeah–though I’m convinced she’d given up her will to live at that point. She didn’t care either way.”

Steve nodded sadly. “What did the doctor say?”

Something he couldn’t quite decipher flashed across Dugan’s face. “She didn’t tell me at first, but when she came out of there I could tell something was wrong. She’d been crying more. I finally got it out of her about halfway back to base. She made me swear not to tell anyone. A baby, Steve–yours, obviously–”

Steve’s head shot up. “ _What_?”

He chuckled, unable to help himself. “That’s exactly what I said. She punched me–most Peggy thing I’d seen her do in weeks.”

“Peggy was–”

“Yeah.”

Dugan fell into silent reflection. Steve didn’t push. Judging by what he’d heard from the Colonel about her state of mind, he could venture a guess that Dugan’s was in the same place, if a little less traumatized.

“Did they–” Steve choked, “When you two were in prison–Was she–”

Dugan shook his head. “They barely paid enough attention to remember to feed us all, let alone torture anyone or put us to work. I started putting half my portion of meals on her plate–to help keep her strength up. I’m sure she noticed, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t talk much the first month we were in there. I talked to her–stayed with her at all times–I was scared shitless. I think she was, too.”

Steve nodded and waited for him to continue.

“We had no idea how long we’d been in there–months. We had no connection to the outside. We were taken before we made it back to base. We didn’t even know if they knew we’d been taken or if they thought we’d gone rouge. Peggy got bigger and more and more tired–sometimes she was in pain–I never knew what to do.” he stopped again and fiddled with his class, “One night she went into labor and things got really bad. There was a lot of blood–she kept begging me to get someone to help stop the bleeding–I did what I could. I made noise enough until the guards came. They had doctors and nurses come take her. I tried to follow, but one of their men caught me in the jaw with his elbow and I was out like a light. I don’t know how long I was unconscious, but I could hear her screaming when I came around.”

Steve’s eyes shone with tears as he listened to Dugan recount the hours he sat and listened to her pained cries echo off the walls.

“When she went quiet, I panicked. I didn’t know if she was alive or not–I was supposed to be taking care of her.” Dugan confessed, rubbing his face roughly, “They brought her back soon after–she was barely conscious, drenched in sweat–her clothes were bloody–I don’t know what happened in there, but it was bad. She never told me. Actually, she didn’t say a single word for another month after the war ended and we were rescued. Couple weeks ago or so now. She says things sometimes, but never anything more than a word or two. She doesn’t see people. She barely gets out of bed–doesn’t eat much–Phillips drops by every week to try and talk her out of her head, but it doesn’t do any good.”

Steve put his head in his hands and let himself cry for a moment. “God–”

Dugan sniffled and stood. “Best to get you over there before she starts to think you’ve run away.”

Steve nodded and followed, wiping his cheeks with the back of his sleeves.

“Yeah.”

“Cap–You’ve got to help her.”

The weight on Steve’s chest increased.

“I’ll try.”

——-

The stairwell was poorly lit. Dugan stumbled and cursed a time or two before they reached the third floor.

“Three fifty three.” he said, pointing to the third door on the left.

Steve needed no more prompting. He walked quickly to the door and knocked.

“She doesn’t answer, just go in slowly,” Dugan said.

He swallowed and turned the knob.

“Peg?” he said softly as he pushed the door open.

Dugan pointed into her living room and he spotted her sitting on the sofa with her head in her hands.

“Go on,” he urged, pushing Steve in her direction, “Go.”

Steve obeyed. “Peggy?”

Her head shot up and she turned, her face a mixture of disbelief, relief, pain–

“Steve?” she whispered.

He rushed to her side and she burst into tears, folding herself into his chest.

He held her tightly, rocking gently and peppering her forehead with soft kisses.

Dugan slipped out quietly, leaving them to their reunion.

“Are you hurt?” he asked suddenly, holding her at arms length to inspect her for open wounds or bruises.

She shook her head and swallowed, pushing his arms away and wrapping her own around his torso. He couldn’t help but noticed her unhealthy pallor and the startling weight loss. Peggy had always been thin, but now–

“Don’t you ever do such a stupid, brainless, idiotic, self-sacrificing–” she sobbed, “If you  _ever_ –”

Steve hooked a finger under her chin and kissed her. “I swear I won’t.”

She wiped at her tears. “Steve–”

He stopped her with a hand on her knee. “We don’t have to right now. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through–”

“We do,” she insisted, not meeting his eyes, “I owe you that much and far more, darling.”

He started to shake his head but she ignored him.

“Before I met you I was never the dependent type, and I don’t think I was after you–losing you was a bow I was not prepared for. My idea of the future suddenly changed from me to us. I wasn’t expecting to lose you so soon, let alone find out I was–,” she choked, then set her jaw in determination, “–pregnant.”

He laced his fingers with hers and she squeezed it lightly.

“I was in shock for far longer than is probably fair–I even went through a long period of denial. It didn’t seem real.”

“I’d say it’s completely fair,” Steve said.

She sighed and shook her head, her voice barely audible now. “It didn’t make a difference, did it? I lost her before she was even here. I wasn’t strong enough–physically? Emotionally?  _God_ , I wanted to die with her, Steve.” she wiped a stray tear, “I failed her. I failed the both of you.”

“No.” Steve said firmly through his own tears, “You didn’t fail anyone.”

She stopped talking for a moment, pulling her hand away to cover her trembling mouth.

“They let me hold her little body for a moment.” she whispered, tears falling freely now, “She was so beautiful.”

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she took a deep breath to steady her voice. “One of the woman nurses slipped me her ashes when we were freed. I couldn’t think why she would be carrying them around all that time or why she would risk her life to get them to me, but in the moment I was just so grateful for some piece of her I didn’t even have the mind to thank her.”

Steve remained quiet, sensing she wasn’t quite finished. After a brief pause, she continued.

“I buried her myself–next to your mum in Brooklyn. I hope that’s alright–”

He wiped his eyes and nodded, unable to find words around the lump in his throat.

“She’d be thrilled.” he finally managed.

Peggy looked relieved. “We can go–if you want to. Tomorrow maybe?”

He nodded again. “I’d like that.”

She smiled. The pain was still there, still fresh and raw, but something behind it had changed.

“Come with me.” he said, standing and offering her a hand.

She took it and stood. He didn’t miss the flash of discomfort on her face. A moment later she was in his arms and he carried her into the kitchen, setting her carefully on a barstool.

“I thought you said you weren’t hurt.”

She waved off his fussing. “I’ve been through a few physically taxing things on far too little sustenance the past few months, darling, I’m allowed a few aching muscles.”

He bowed out and began rummaging around in cupboards for something to make for dinner.

“What sounds good? Pancakes?”

Peggy sighed. “Whatever you want.”

Steve frowned, but proceeded to prepare their food. “What’s wrong?”

She chuckled bitterly. “A lot of things are wrong. The world is wrong.”

He set down his spatula and reached for her hand. “Are we wrong?”

Her eyes filled with tears again and she pulled away. “You deserve far better, Steve.”

“No.” he said firmly, “You don’t get to do that. What happened–none of that was your fault. You did the best you could have possibly done and  _I love you_. I will  _always_  love you, Peggy.”

She looked down at her lap, trying not to meet his eyes. “You know, I’ve had this conversation with you hundreds of times in my head since you took that ship down. Somehow you always end up saying the same thing; even now.”

Steve smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. It wouldn’t have made a difference though–with what I said. You are amazing.”

Peggy reached for his hand and nodded. “The pancakes are burning, my love.”

He jumped to his feet and whacked his elbow on the countertop. She laughed at his foul expletive and stood to take over the cooking.

Steve watched her dispose of the ruined food and slipped his arms around her from behind.

“I love you, too, by the way.” she said as she poured fresh batter on the skillet, “Thank you for finding your way back.”

—

The sun was shining brightly for an autumn day in Brooklyn. Peggy leaned on Steve’s arm as they walked toward the cemetery. They had spent the night tucked close together on her small mattress talking, and now strolled in a somber, yet comfortable silence.

The cemetery was devoid of people, much to their relief. They didn’t need any passers-by recognizing Steve and calling the press. Today was precious.

Today Steve was going to meet his little girl.

Peggy pulled him to a stop as they reached the row of headstones they were looking for.

“Before we go over,” she said softly, “I thought we could think of a name for her.”

Steve grinned. “Really?”

She nodded and rested her chin on his shoulder. “What do you think?”

He frowned in thought. “What about Eliza?”

Peggy grinned. “That’s a beautiful name, darling. Eliza Sarah Rogers, then?”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean–”

Her free hand rested against his arm and she rolled her eyes fondly at him. “Of course I do. I would have loved to meet her–your mum, I mean. I trust she’s taking good care of our little angel, wherever they are.”

Steve nodded in agreement, a lump rising in his throat as they began walking again.

Peggy dropped his arm as they approached and used a gloved hand to lovingly brush a few stray leaves from the headstone of Sarah Rogers, then knelt beside a small patch of soil much more recently disturbed and sighed, reaching up behind her for his presence.

“Eliza, my love,” she whispered, tears springing to her eyes, “Your daddy is home.”

Steve rested a hand on top of the patch for a brief moment before pulling Peggy into his chest and weeping freely.

“We both love you very much.”


End file.
